


Neptune

by noona96n



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-06-08 05:45:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6841384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noona96n/pseuds/noona96n
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>iv. first is relief.<br/>The tiles are white and not black. The nurse is all soft smile and kindness. Renee is sitting by his bedside, not Riko Moriyama with his sharp knives and sharper smile.<br/>He is safe. </p><p>v. for now</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

i. the end  
Renee Natalie Walker storms into the infirmary with purpose licking at her heels.  
She takes one look at him and spins around to say something to Edgar Allan’s president before snapping rudely at Riko with an angelic smile on her pastel pink lips. Their president exchange a few words with Riko and the next thing Jean knows, Renee is wrapping a blanket around his shoulder and walking him out of the suffocating cage.  
He doesn’t remember why she’s there but he’s more than happy to leave. 

ii. shortly after  
Abigail Marie Winfield is a sunny person with an even sunnier smile. She has a heart of gold and hands made of the softest cotton. She treats Jean with such gentleness and sincerity he feels himself breaks against the white tile of her infirmary. 

iii. colors of salvation  
Renee is a blur of white and pastel pink and blue and green and all the colors that are beautiful and bright. 

iv. first is relief.  
The tiles are white and not black. The nurse is all soft smile and kindness. Renee is sitting by his bedside, not Riko Moriyama with his sharp knives and sharper smile.  
He is safe. 

v. for now

vi. reunion  
Kevin Day visits him a few days later half-drunk off his ass. Jean can smell the alcohol on him the moment he steps inside and sees red coloring his cheeks. The number ‘2’ is starked against his red cheekbone and Jean is reminded of the ugly 3 that sits on his burnt skin.  
They stare at each other for a few intense moment before Kevin storms out the room like hell’s on his heel.  
Jean hears white noises outside the door before Renee comes in with a sweet smile on her pale pink lips and reads to him until he sleeps.

vii. on the next visit  
Kevin Day comes in a lot less guilty and actually takes a seat on the edge of Jean’s bed tentatively. He’s looking at his left hand and tracing his the white streaks of his with his nimble fingers.  
He’s a different man now, Jean notices. He sits straighter and his shoulders are pulled back. He’s looking down at the hands in his laps but his head isn’t hung anymore. He’s less scared now and more sure of himself.  
Different good, Jean thinks.  
Different good, he think again. 

viii. and jean is green with envy  
Kevin gets to leave and build a life around a family and a home. He gets to be a person and not a pet.  
Jean’s envious and Jean’s breaking and crying and dying inside.  
(Could he ever be like Kevin Day, Jean allows himself to think for a fleeting pointless moment. Could he ever be Jean Moreau the person and not Jean Moreau #3 pet property victim?)

ix. unsure

x. renee visits everyday  
And she reads to him. The catcher in the rye. To kill a mockingbird. The great expectation. Her colorful voice lulling him to sleep.  
Sometimes she sits and talks. She tells him about her classes. She tells him about her practice. And she tells him about her Foxes. It’s not any different from what she used to text him but he’s uncertain why it makes him happy now when it made him sadder than death then.

xi. other times  
She sits and holds his fractured hands.  
She sits and strokes his hair and kisses his swollen and burnt cheeks.  
She sits and Jean is reminded of Marseille.

xii. coach wymack  
Or maybe he should refer to him as Kevin’s dad. Jean’s unsure. But him, whoever he is, with his rude words and eyerolls is not much different that nurse Abby. Because for all his attitudes, he is caring and understanding and he cares.  
Kevin wonders how a low class, fractured, and imperfect team like the Foxes get to be this lucky. They have Renee and her pastel hair and pink lips. They have nurse Abby and her soft words and soothing hands. They have coach Wymack and his jabs and eyerolls and attitude.  
The Ravens though. The Ravens with their talent and prestige gets the Master and Riko Moriyama and their psychotic and abusive nature. 

xiii. on the fifth visit  
Kevin finally graduates from sitting silently by his foot. Now, he sits on the chair that Renee always sit and looks at Jean fractured face.  
“I’m sorry.” He says. Whispers. Chokes out. And Jean wants to punch him in his perfect teeth and breaks every bones in his face.  
Instead, Jean settles for snarling at Kevin because he can’t even move his fucking mouth let alone sits up long enough to swing his fist at Kevin.  
“Sorry.” Kevin chokes out again and Jean hopes his glares translates to Kevin how ridiculous the situation is.

ixx. and then the nightmare comes.


	2. 2

**xx. sleeping hours**

There’s thirteen flights of stairs and all Jean can think about is _pain pain pain-_

 

There’s a bucket of ice cold water and all Jean can think of is _no no no I don’t want to die I want to live live let me live please-_

 

There’s a blade on the skin between his shoulders and all Jean can think about is _don’t scream don’tscream dontscream-_

 

There’s fire dancing on the sole of his feet and all Jean can think about is _god have mercy and please please please-_

 

There’s a whip tearing skin out of his back and all Jean can think about _is I’m sorry I’msorry Imsorry-_

 

**xxi. waking up**

There’s darkness and then there is light. Pastel and perfume follow and all Jean can think about is Renee Renee Renee and knows that he is safe.

 

**xxii. for now**

**xxiii. comfort**

“It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real.”

“It’s alright. It’s okay. It’s fine.”

“You’re okay now. Shh. Shh. You’re okay now Jean. You’re okay.”

“He can’t get to you. Riko can’t get to you. I promise.”

“You’re safe now.”

 

**xxiv. jean almost believes her**

 

**xxv. on some days**

Jean wants to go back. Wants to get on his hands and knees and crawls all the way back to the Nest. Wants to kneel in front of Riko Moriyama and begs for forgiveness because Jean knows they will come and get him one day. And going back is better than running way because running away means he’ll be dragged back there some day.

And Jean heaves and chokes and scratches at his arms and skin and face and tells Renee “Take me back, take me back, take me back.”

Renee shushes him and rocks him in her arms like a baby and he’ll tell her “Please, please. It’s better this way. They’ll find me, Riko will come get me and it’ll be worse. Please.”

Jean thinks he’s crying by that time but he’s not sure. It’s all a jumble mess and Jean is scared for his life.

 

**xxvi. on other days**

Jean will sit on the bed and let nurse Abby take care of him and listen to Renee and stare at Kevin. On those days he would let himself think that maybe he could have a shot of happiness. He could be an actual person. He could be Jean. And Jean feels a smile tugging at his lips.

(And then he thinks: how long will I have this? And feels wrecked all over again.)

 

**xxvii. recovery**

Jean gets better day after day.

He can feel his face again and actually smiles lightly at Renee in gratitude when she reads to him or kisses his cheeks and tell him to sleep well. He can move his fingers and wiggle his toes and stretch his limbs. He can eat solid food and gets to the toilet himself.

And when Jean is able to walk, Renee squeals excitedly and tells him how brave and strong he is.

Kevin promises to go for a run with him afterward.

 

**xxviii. stability**

Nurse Abby checks up on him every morning, noon and evening. She comes in with a kind smile and asks him about his injuries routinely.

Renee comes every day to see him. Sometimes, Danielle Leigh Wilds is with her. (Danielle, for all her patchwork glory, is a kind woman with a heart larger than the ocean) Sometimes, Renee brings Allison Jamaica Reynolds along. (Allison stares at him. She stares and stares and stares and offers to apply makeup on him if he ever need to go out.)

Kevin visits him every other day. Most day than not. And he walks in and helps Jean onto his feet and beats him into shape. And on days that Allison tags along, Jean knows they’re going out for a walk.

(Allison is all rude words and sharp glances. Every strokes of her pencil is mean and precise and the pressure that she puts onto his face is reassuring. And Kevin. Kevin is like he always is. Unpleasant and picky and hard to please and for the first time after a long time, Jean thinks he might have a shot at being happy.)

(And then Jean thinks: how long can I have this?)

 

**xxix. and then neil josten happens**

He slams back into his life and tells them about the deal with the main family and Jean allows himself the audacity of hope.

 

**xxx. and then comes reality**

Kevin is white white white and he’s shaking and tracing the white scars on his left hand. And Jean remembers that time when Riko made Jean pushes Kevin’s left hand down onto the court floor and slammed his racquet onto the limb. And Jean remembers the blood blood blood and Kevin agonizing scream and he was crying and screaming and begging for Riko to stop please please please. And then Jean is crying.

Jean is crying and Kevin reaches out to tap on his shoulder lightly. Jean flinches violently and sobs harder.

“Hey.” Kevin says, his hand already by his side.

“Hey, Jean. Jean.” He says again and Jean looks up to see tears in his eyes. And then Jean’s gasping and groaning and choking on his own breathe.

“Kevin.” Jean mumbles, voice thick from disuse and accent think inside his own mouth. And then he chokes out in a messy string of French and English “I’m- I can’t. Exy- I’m-”

“Hey. Hey. You can.” Kevin replies, his words slow and perfectly enunciated. He waits until Jean has some sort of relative control before he continues with in French “You can and you will Jean. Because this is Exy. We lived and breathed Exy, Jean.”

Jean’s chest is contracting painfully and he’s staring at Kevin through his tear glazed eyes. He can make out the number ‘2’ on Kevin’s face and instinctively runs his fingers over his own corresponding ‘3’.

 

**xxxi. options**

When Wymack says “You know, the Foxes’ backliner would benefit greatly from your expertise.”

At that suggestion, Jean goes still like a statue and stares blankly at the coach. At the edge of his peripheral vision, Jean sees Kevin opening his mouth; as if he’s unsure of what to say. The older man looks at him pointedly and leans further into his seat, ignoring the frown that nurse Abby sends his way. Kevin, however, moves toward the edge of his seat and bounces his feet.

“Coach, I-” Kevin manages two words out before he stops attempting to speak completely and turns to stare at Jean expectantly.

For a moment, Jean almost obey. Almost says okay. Almost do what is expected of him despite his unwillingness. But he remembers what nurse Abby used to tell him ‘You are a human being Jean. Not a pet or a property. You can make your own decisions and be responsible for them. Always, always remember that you always have a choice, Jean. Always.’ So he shakes his head and looks at Kevin, begging him to understand.

Kevin rests his left hand near Jean’s thigh, his body heat radiating toward Jean, and says “Don’t do anything you don’t want Jean.”

And Jean stares at him and Kevin smiles lopsidedly like he understands. Kevin says “Okay. Okay. I understand.” And Jean lets out an exhale he didn’t know he was holding back.

Wymack heaves a disappointed sigh and Jean flinches away from him. Nurse Abby tighten her hold on his wrist as she treats his cut and Kevin flattens his palm onto the mattress. The coach seems to notice and says good-naturedly “Hey, hey.” and puts a hand onto Jean’s shoulder carefully. Jean tries not to shy away from the heavy hand on his shoulder.

“It’s alright. It’ll be alright.”

 

**xxxii. usc trojans**

Kevin visits Jean after the Foxes’ game with the Bearcat high on adrenalin and victory and Jean feels himself craving for a moment on the court.

He’s grinning at Jean when he sits down at the edge of the bed and slides his hand across the mattress. Happiness is a new look on Kevin Day but Jean thinks. It suits him more than anything else.

“Jean.” Kevin says. He’s still smiling and Jean wonders if it hurts to smile that much for so long. Jean wouldn’t know. He knows nothing but pain, pain, and more pain. He would assume everything would result in pain. Even the good things.

“Jean, what do u think about Jeremy Knox?” Kevin asks and Jean feels his stomach trying to escape through his mouth.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the super duper short chapter!! I promise that the fourth one will be longer and feature the Trojan's POV... Enjoyyyyyy

**xxxiii. jeremy knox**

**is the sun**

Golden, glorious and regal. He is the poster child of everything goodness and kind. He is all smile and polite words and never-ending enthusiasm.

He is everything that Riko Moriyam is not but Jean is still scared for his life all for different reasons.

 

**xxxiv. jeremy knox is in his room**

He’s sitting in Renee’s seat and when Jean walks in, Knox looks at Jean like he’s the most fragile creature. He’s Jean Moreau, Riko personal torture slave, he is not fragile, he is not weak; Jean thinks at him and stares at Knox’s glowing tan face and bright sunny hair.

Jean says nothing and instead tilts his head and looks at Renee, confusion written all over his bruised face because why is Jeremy _here_. Renee smiles knowingly and pats the hand Jean rest on her forearm for support before helping him into his bed. Knox tugs the blanket over his lower body and sits down to stare at Jean’s face intensely. Jean frowns before turning his head away, figuring that all the gruesome wounds on his face and body must be disgusting for the eyes. Renee sighs and tells him with sadness in her voice “I’ll be right outside.”

Jean doesn’t deem her with a reply and let her leave him alone with Knox. Awkward silence persists and Jean plays with the hem of his blanket absentmindedly, a nervous habit he never knew he had while under the abusive rule of the Moriyama.

Slowly, the silence is broken when Knox lays his hands on the blanket. Jean turns to stare at him and looks away again when he sees that Knox is looking at him just as intensely.

“Don’t look away. Please, just let me-” Knox says and Jean obeys instinctively. He turns to see Knox frowning like he’s in pain. The blond exhales slowly as if calming himself and curses under his breathe.

“How could anyone do this to another person?” Knox grinds out and Jean automatically replies “Riko is not just anyone. He’s is the #1. He is the captain. He is the king. What he says, goes. His orders are absolute and his words unquestioned.”

Knox groans painfully as if stabbed and Jean kicks himself mentally for parroting those phrases. It’s like nothing changes at all. It’s like he’s still Jean, #3 pet property and victim. It’s like Riko still has a collar around his neck even though he’s supposedly a free man.

 

**xxxv. the offer**

“Why are you here?” Jean asks after a long stretch of silence between the two of them. He can feels himself sweat uncomfortably under Knox thoughtful gaze.

“Kevin didn’t tell you?” Knox asks, titling his head sideway innocently and Jean turns to look at this man.

Jean stares at him pointedly and Knox looks down at his own laps as if shied. How curious, Jean thinks but says nothing and waits. Silence blankets over them again and Jean looks at Knox curiously. A few minutes later, the USC captain seems to finish gathering his wits and tells Jean “I’m here to offer you a position in my team Jean.”

He says it as casually as he could and Jean looks at him until he fidgets again. Knox shifts uncomfortably in his seat and continues “I know you’re available right now and the Trojans will benefit greatly from your participation.”

They stare at each other again. More like Jean stares at Knox again and the he asks slowly “Did Kevin put you up to this?”

The captain looks perplexed and denies quickly “No! No, Kevin mentioned that you are available and looking for a team. I thought that perhaps I could appeal to you.”

Jean stares at him again. He does that a lot in such a short span of time with this man, he wonders how much staring he will do if he were to be on USC Trojans. And that gets him thinking about how it would feel like to play with the Trojans. To play with Jeremy Knox. Cheery and good natured.

Jean fists his blanket tightly and squeezes his eyes shut. He can hear Knox says “I’m sorry to trouble you Jean.”

Silence remains and Jean can hear Knox gets out of the chair. He tells Jean one last time “Sorry to bother you Jean. And thank you for your time.”

He sounds dejected and sad and Jean lets out a chuckle because he’s sad and dejected because Jean didn’t give him an answer.

“Knox.” Jean says, his eyes finding Knox’s blue ones. Knox tilts his head to the side and Jean’s heart aches again at how innocent this man is. He tells the blond “I only play backliner.”

Knox smiles so wide Jean feels his own cheeks hurt.

 

**xxxvi. the phone call**

Knox calls him every day. Jean is certain Knox is the most incompetent captain to ever exist. The Trojans have a match with the Raven in four days but he flew in just to have a talk with Jean even though he could do it over the phone. And then he pestered Renee with his phone calls just so he could ask Jean about the number he wants on his back or what is Jean’s size or if Jean’s feeling any better or would Jean feels more comfortable living with or without a roommate. It’s ridiculous and stupid and the kind of thing that is of no importance at all.

Jean may or may not snap Knox for being a lousy captain and told him to stop pestering Jean and gets his ass into the court and do something useful for his team.

“The Trojans are yours too.” Knox says meekly, with the quality of a kicked puppy dripping from his voice. Jean refuses to feel guilty.

Jean clears his throat and mumbles “Whatever” rudely and hangs up before Knox can inflict him with more cuteness.

Renee gives him a disapproving look and Jean scowls at her.

 

**xxxvii**

 

“He just won’t be back in black.” Knox says, with so much pride and glee Jean feels his warmth burning in the pit of his belly. He stares at the goofy smile on the captain’s lips and think that man, that glorious sunny man, will be his captain too and maybe, just maybe, he could be happy. 

**Author's Note:**

> JereJean is my aesthetic rn  
> Come scream at me about them on Tumblr: http://noona96n.tumblr.com/


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